i just wanna soil my oats bro
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
