the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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