Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
