Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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