can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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