I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
