i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
