I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
