found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
