the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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