Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I did not marry a roomba.
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