You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
