your room smells of hookers.
And success
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
