ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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