Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
