I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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