I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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