I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
