Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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