my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
do nipples grow back?
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