he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
