a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
