Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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