well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
