so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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