My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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