I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
