I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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