who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
