don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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