JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize