That's intense
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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