do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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