My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
