sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
