I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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