I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
