turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
