Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
