And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
