It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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