That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
