you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
