Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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