i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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