He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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