I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
