i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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