so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
