she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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