yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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