he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
