I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
