all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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