Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
