They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
