I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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