we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize