you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
